A Year With Lorra

Jul 16
2016

She has to go

She’s sleeping in my bed and I just want her gone.
Jul 16
2016

I don’t feel anything, again.

No to the late night swims
Apr 30
2016

I am so unbelievably sad.

Wednesday blues
Apr 24
2016

But as soon as I got home I realized it would be difficult. I didn’t know what I would do tomorrow, Sunday, an off day, to keep me occupied. I didn’t know what to feel. How much I should smoke to forget about the feelings. The pain. Something like lead in the middle of my chest. How I would keep from crying. How I would sleep. Ignore the nightmares when she isn’t around. How I would do anything at all.

AYWL, The Know How
Apr 16
2016

Exiled once again.

“No more smoking weed on my deck!”
Apr 08
2016

She’s throwing a party tonight. A small one. For friends. It’s her last day at her job. I think she’s moving away. I wonder if I should show up. I wonder if she is moving really far. If I’ll ever see her again…

Lately, I don’t know what it is I am searching for.

AYWL, S Rock
Apr 07
2016

My life feels even more empty than before.

Mar 14
2016

I dream about her now. I never did before. I want my mind to be occupied with other things. But instead, I’m stuck wondering if she’ll ever walk by.

AYWL
Feb 09
2016

We both are overthinkers. We think about the future. All insecurely. All full of wonder. All ponderous and wanting. We think about us. Together.

…us. Together. 
Jan 25
2016

All I could do. After all of the build up. Was kiss her. Was lay there. Silently. Until she decided that she had enough of my love and it was time to sleep.

AYWL, she has really nice pictures
Jan 25
2016

She was a separate soul. Everything she did had nothing to do with me. She didn’t involve me. I guess my bitterness only speaks on behalf of my ego and insecurity.

She was a bird. However cliche. She wanted to go explore new things. Feel new things. Love new people.

I was a tree. However taboo. And I wanted to love her only. Kiss her only.

She would draw pictures that had nothing to do with me. She would paint paintings that had nothing to do with me. She would go on trips that had nothing to do with me. She would feel pain that had nothing to do with me. She would laugh laughs that had nothing to do with me.


Then, we would lay down. She would breathe heavily. Breathing me in. Pulling me in slowly. Letting me kiss her neck. Letting me show her my insignificant love. Small little bruises here and there. Small moans here and there. Little hums. Then she would pull away. And that had nothing to do with me. Because, again, she felt pain that had nothing to do with me. She wasn’t meant to be touched the way I wanted to. She would find her angry touch else where. And that had nothing to do with me. All I could do. After all of the build up. Was kiss her. Was lay there. Silently. Until she decided that she had enough of my love and it was time to sleep.

AYWL, Nothing
Jan 25
2016

She was beautiful. But that was no reason to stay.

AYWL, Saving Grace
Jan 23
2016

I have this obsession with being the savior in someone’s life. With being the one to rescue. I do not know why. I just do. And when you wouldn’t let me save you I didn’t know what to do with myself. When you didn’t call me to console you I didn’t know what to do with myself. I guess it was me who needed saving. And the thought of saving you was all the rescue I needed.

AYWL, Saving Grace
Jan 23
2016

Saving Grace.

AYWL, She ended up saving herself actually. I guess that’s the most beautiful story I know.
Jan 23
2016

I see her smile leaving. Slowly. But more and more everyday. I want her to want me but I don’t want to hurt her anymore.

AYWL, What am I supposed to do when I want to be close to you?